Fundraising Is A Gift To Everybody
Fundraising has a bad rap. Too often, it’s wrapped in discomfort, shame, fear of rejection, and stories we’ve inherited from a lifetime of being told not to ask for help. But what if we stopped seeing fundraising as “the ask” and started seeing it as a gift?
That’s exactly what Steven Screen and I explored in this week’s episode of The Influential Nonprofit. Steven is a second-generation fundraiser, award-winning direct mail strategist, and one of the most thoughtful humans I’ve had the pleasure of jamming with on donor engagement.
Together, we unpacked how fundraising—done well—isn’t a burden, a transaction, or a necessary evil. It’s an invitation. It’s a relationship. It’s a gift.
Why We Struggle with Fundraising in the First Place
Let’s start with the elephant in the room: many fundraisers carry deeply rooted emotional hangups about asking for money. As Steven said, “The stories people tell themselves about fundraising are often outdated or untrue—and they limit the organization.”
These stories come from childhood, from shame around money, from a fear of being vulnerable. And they manifest in everything from awkward donor conversations to appeals that sound more like press releases than real invitations to help.
As nonprofits, we’re helpers and fixers—so asking for help feels uncomfortable. But vulnerability is leadership. And as Steven reminded me, “When there is no vulnerability, there are fewer gifts.”
Fundraising as an Act of Vulnerability and Partnership
For years, nonprofits were taught to maintain a perfect image—polished events, glossy brochures, success stories only. We feared that showing cracks would make donors run.
But here’s the thing: donors don’t connect to perfection. They connect to people. They want to be needed, not impressed.
“The most powerful person in the room is the most vulnerable,” I often teach in my Uplevel Your Influence course. And fundraising is no different.
Let’s shift from, “We’ve got it all handled. Want to join our success?” to “Here’s where we are. We need your help to get to where we’re going.” That shift creates clarity. It creates connection. It creates commitment.
The Emotional Accident and What Happens Next
One of my favorite takeaways from this conversation was Steven’s term “emotional accident”—those first gifts that come from impulse, a friend’s invite, or a powerful story.
That first gift doesn’t mean you’ve gained a lifelong donor. It means someone had a moment of alignment with your mission. The real question is: what happens next?
If you don’t understand why the gift was given, you won’t know how to cultivate the relationship. Not everyone who attends your trivia night or gives to your campaign is ready for a multi-year journey. And that’s okay.
The goal is to meet donors where they are, not where you wish they were.
Tactical Truth: Make It Inclusive and Specific
Here’s where Steven dropped some hard (and data-backed) truths. The most effective direct response fundraising isn’t visionary or abstract. It’s clear, specific, and immediate.
“Your $200 will feed 200 penguins.”
It’s tangible. It’s accessible. It works.
While it might feel limiting to tie donations to one action, Steven reminded me that specificity makes fundraising inclusive. People with five seconds of attention and $50 to give can still feel the joy of impact.
Then, as donors grow in relationship with your organization, you can invite them into deeper, more visionary giving. But you can’t start there.
Let Donors Be Who They Are
One of the most powerful moments in our conversation was when we both agreed: you have to love people for who they are, not who you want them to be.
Some donors want community. Others want privacy. Some want their names on buildings. Others want to give quietly. Some want data. Some want stories.
Stop trying to force every donor into the same journey. Your job is to offer opportunities that align with their values—not yours.
As Steven said, “Charity should be accessible to everyone, not just people who think like us.”
Practical Tips to Reframe Fundraising as a Gift
If you’re ready to shift how you feel—and how you show up—in fundraising, here are a few things I recommend (with a wink to Steven’s wisdom):
Honor the emotional accident
Don’t assume first gifts mean long-term buy-in. Ask yourself: what sparked this gift? Where did it come from? What’s next?Be inclusive and specific
Make giving easy, clear, and emotionally satisfying—even for small amounts.Don’t expect a tour to build loyalty
If a donor says no to your invitation, maybe they’re already giving in the way that works for them. Respect that.Separate your ego from your mission
You’re not fundraising for your worth. You’re fundraising for the cause. Your job is to create opportunities for donors to activate their values.Let go of control
Stop trying to get donors to do what you want. Instead, be of value to them. That’s how relationships grow.
Fundraising Connects Us All
To quote Steven directly, and beautifully:
“Fundraising is a gift to everybody. It's a gift to the people who make it, because you have to be other-centered. It's a gift to those who receive it, because they're reminded of their role in the world. It creates connection. And it only works when we get out of our own way and make it accessible.”
I’ll be holding that close for a long time.
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